Surrounding Yourself With Accountability

“The Resolution”

Session 8 – Surrounding Yourself with Accountability

In the past seven studies, we have covered some heavy situations. Many of us are choosing to replace fear and passivity with courage and direction.

Q: What has impacted you the most? How has going through this study with a group improved your efforts?

The Resolution for Men describes a father’s godly legacy in this order:

first as a faithful follower of Christ,
second as a faithful husband,
third as a faithful father,
and then as a strong spiritual leader in the world.

Q: To what extent are these in the right order for you?

The insights we have discovered together over these weeks can continue to be life changing. While you may be committed and on track today, a time will come when your motivation diminishes and you need someone to push you onward again. Tests and temptations will come. If you want to be courageous for the long haul, you must surround yourself with accountability.

In order to succeed, those closest to you must be close to God. Of course, you will always reach out to those far from Jesus; but if you want to stay faithful to God and your family, you must surround yourself with people who have the same life goal.

If your motivation is to last longer than this study, then you must commit to taking the next step - BE ACCOUNTABLE.

ACCOUNTABLE  (adj)  -  subject to giving an account: answerable

The Bible is full of teachings regarding the people you need in your life and those you should avoid. Let’s look at these verses and see what each teaches regarding relationships.

Oh, the joys of those who do not
follow the advice of the wicked,
or stand around with sinners,
or join in with mockers.
² But they delight in the law of the Lord,
meditating on it day and night.
³ They are like trees planted along the riverbank,
bearing fruit each season.
Their leaves never wither,
and they prosper in all they do.
Psalm 1:1-3
 

Walk with the wise and become wise;

associate with fools and get in trouble.
Proverbs 13:20

 

As iron sharpens iron,
so a friend sharpens a friend.
Proverbs 27:17

 

Don’t be fooled by those who say such things, for “bad company corrupts good character.”
1 Corinthians 15:33

 

Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer^[a] is overcome by some sin, you who are godly^[b] should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. ² Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.
Galatians 6: 1-2

 

Q: Concerning those who might walk away from being courageous, how do Jesus’ instructions in Matthew 18:15-20 help us stay accountable? Why do we hesitate to follow these instructions?

“If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. ¹⁶ But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. ¹⁷ If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.

¹⁸ “I tell you the truth, whatever you forbid on earth will be forbidden in heaven, and whatever you permit on earth will be permitted in heaven.

¹⁹ “I also tell you this: If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you. ²⁰ For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.”

Insert Clip 12- “Resolution Ceremony”

Q: In this scene of resolve, to whom were Nathan and the other fathers answering, or giving an account?

Q: These fathers had supported each other in the past; in what ways would you expect them to encourage each other in the future?

Q: What challenges do you think might come your way after this study?

Q: How will each of you be able to help one another?

Make no mistake, distractions intent on luring us away are already nearing. So what will it take for us to make it in the long haul?

“Let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the day approaching.”

Hebrews 10:24-25

Q: What does verse 25 mean when it says “not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together”?

Q: To what two things are we called to “stir up” one another?

Good accountability is about being a true Christian friend. It means comforting someone when he is down, encouraging her to do the right thing, praying for protection and guidance for your friend, and even lovingly reproving when he or she gets off track. Accountability is helping someone be found faithful to God!

We need each other. Not just during these few weeks, but long term, throughout our lives. God never intended for any of us to live the Christian life alone. As the body of Christ, we are to work together and share our lives together for the sake of God’s kingdom and for the sake of our children and them any generations to come. By God’s grace, we will be found faithful to His calling!

 

Personal Growth This Week:

Commit to Memory

Proverbs 27:17 - “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”

 

READING:

Men:        “Resolve to Be Found Faithful” (pp. 197-209)

                  Appendix 5: Resolution groups: Accountability for Men (pp 235-37)

Women:   “Faithfully His” (pp. 67-85)

                  “My Best” (pp.89-110)

Leaving a Legacy

“The Resolution”

Session 7 - Leaving a Legacy

Q: Which do you desire more: to be your child’s friend or to be your child’s parent? How does this affect the way you parent?

Standing upon the cusp of entering the promised land, Moses gathered the nation of Israel for final instructions before embarking on their long-awaited entry. After 40 yrs of wandering, the people were finally ready to inherit the land. At this crucial juncture, Moses recapped Israel’s history and reminded the people of God’s commands. Before they entered the land, Moses instructed the people regarding one of their greatest responsibilities of all.

“Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. ⁵ And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. ⁶ And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. ⁷ Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. ⁸ Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. ⁹ Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9

Q: Moses gave God’s people some specific instructions in these verses. What were they?

Q: How often were the people to teach their children about God’s love?

Q: How does this biblical model contrast with what many families experience today?

While on earth, Jesus invested in twelve ordinary men whose lives were transformed by knowing Him personally. Jesus spent time with them. He called them to exchange the ordinary for the extraordinary. He taught them about God and His Word, and He showed them how to pray.

Jesus healed their family members. He served, rebuked, and forgave. He modeled God’s love. In the Great Commission, Jesus called us to make disciples and so share in His work.

“Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe everything I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always even to the end of the age.”

Matthew 28:19-20

Our obedience to be a disciple and make disciples starts at home, with those who are closest to us. How seriously have you taken God’s calling for you to help win your children to Christ and then teach them to love God with all their hearts? This is not rocket science. It is simply talking with your children during the day about God and about your heart’s desire for them to love and obey Him.

There was a teachable moment in this clip- even though Adam didn’t start well, he acknowledged that fact to his son and resolved to finish better. He wanted more for Dylan and for himself.

An increasing number of children are growing up in fatherless homes. Even when fathers are present physically, they are not always spiritual role models. We can take comfort from one of the early church pastor’s, Timothy. His father was not a man of faith, Acts 16 tells us that, but he was blessed to have godly maternal influences and a father figure in the apostle Paul.

Timothy, I thank God for you—the God I serve with a clear conscience, just as my ancestors did. Night and day I constantly remember you in my prayers. ⁴ I long to see you again, for I remember your tears as we parted. And I will be filled with joy when we are together again.

⁵ I remember your genuine faith, for you share the faith that first filled your grandmother Lois and your mother, Eunice. And I know that same faith continues strong in you. ⁶ This is why I remind you to fan into flames the spiritual gift God gave you when I laid my hands on you. ⁷ For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1:3-7

Even though Timothy was in a less-than-ideal situation, God equipped him to be a mighty man of faith.

Timothy, my dear son, be strong through the grace that God gives you in Christ Jesus. ² You have heard me teach things that have been confirmed by many reliable witnesses. Now teach these truths to other trustworthy people who will be able to pass them on to others.
2 Timothy 2:1-2

Q: What was Paul hoping his investment in Timothy would produce?

Timothy’s connection to Paul as a “spiritual father” came through his relationship with Jesus. A beautiful aspect of the body of Christ is that children who do not have fathers or godly father-figures can be welcomed into the church. Suddenly they have many fathers and are a part of many families who will train and mentor them.

It’s time we look around and ask God to help us reach out in love as a “father figure” or “spiritual mom” to those who don’t have fathers/mothers.

When the movie concludes, we see scenes that remind the viewer of the impact of godly fathers and families.

Q: In your opinion, how good are Derek’s chances to succeed in life as an inmate?

While we don’t know all that the situation entails, we do know a good deal about Nathan. His decision to mentor Derek improves Derek’s future chances immensely.

Q: Who has God placed in your life who needs your love and influence?

**  A Godly legacy doesn’t happen accidently.  **

Personal Growth This Week: 

Psalm 78:4 - “We must not hide them from their children, but must tell a future generation the praises of the Lord, His might, and the wonderful works He has performed.” 

READING:

Men:     “Resolve to Live with Honor” (pp. 115-129)

               “Resolve to Leave a Legacy” (pp. 211-222)

Women:      “Leaving a Godly Legacy” (pp. 247- 266)

Winning and Blessing Their Hearts

“The Resolution”

Session 6 – Winning and Blessing Their Hearts

Q:  Every generation is given an example in movies or television of what fathers are like. What famous personality represented fatherhood for your generation?

When you think about fathers today, you may automatically associate them with the ones we just discussed. Dads themselves may be starting to assume that such portrayals are the norm. It is past time to develop a new perception for fathers and a new view of fathers.

Q: What man in your life has best represented biblical fatherhood for you?

People of faith recognize that God has a good and noble role for fathers to fill. While the man you described is not perfect, he impacted you and spoke into your life in positive ways. He certainly has made and may be continuing to make an impact on his children. Even if his children ultimately make unwise decisions, they cannot use their father as an excuse to not follow God.

Q: What voices are your children listening to right now? How can you win and bless your children’s hearts so they listen to your voice?

If we truly care that our children succeed at following God, we will stop at nothing to ensure that we win their heart.

You cannot speak into the hearts of your children if you don’t have their hearts. To learn how to win their hearts, let’s learn from God, the Father. We are going to start in Matthew the 3^rd chapter where John is baptizing Jesus. As we read this, realize that this passage is a picture of God affirming Jesus, not establishing Him. There is an important difference.

"After his baptism, as Jesus came up out of the water, the heavens were opened and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and settling on him. And a voice from heaven said, “This is my dearly loved Son, who brings me great joy.”

Matthew 3:16-17 (NLT)

Verse 17 is pivotal. The Father’s words reveal three affirmations:

1-      The Father was honored to call Jesus His Son.

2-      He loves His Son very much.
3-      God was pleased with how His Son was living on earth.

In Luke, at Jesus’ transfiguration we see the Father state that people should listen to His Son.

 “Then a voice came from the cloud saying: “This is my Son, The Chosen One; Listen to Him!”

Luke 9:35 (NLT)

The Father is saying here that Jesus was of such stature “Chosen One” that others would benefit from knowing and hearing Him. God reiterated His special relationship with Jesus (“my Son”).

In both accounts, God affirmed Jesus so others could hear. The Father told Jesus that He loves Him in a sincere and passionate way. Every child deserves to hear these affirmations in a similar spirit:

1-      You are loved.

2-      You make me proud.
3-      You are good at….

Q: What is the most impactful thing your father ever told you?

Q: What do you think your children are longing to hear from your lips?

Insert Clip 9- “A Better Brother”

Q: What is the difference between saying you love someone and giving him your approval?

Q: What does it mean to you when someone tells you “I love you” or “I’m proud of you”?

Some children have never heard either from their parents. Others have vivid memories of a parent telling them, “I’m proud of you.” Perhaps that affirmation is more specific, acknowledging your child’s priceless worth.

In the last verse of the Old Testament, the prophet Malachi told the people of the forthcoming Jesus. Through the work of John the Baptist and Jesus, a specific action would take place; otherwise, God’s curse would fall on the people. Let’s read it:

“He will turn the hearts of the parents to their children, and the hearts of the children to their parents; or else I will come and strike the land with total destruction.”

Malachi 4:6

One outcome of Christ’s coming ministry was to bring fathers’ hearts back to their children and children’s hearts back to their fathers.

“My son, give me your heart and let your eyes delight in my ways”

Proverbs 23:26

Q: What is the good and the bad of a child being told to “observe my ways”?

Not only are we called to win our children’s hearts, but once we have won them, we must instruct them in the right way to live.

Insert Clip 10- “Nathan’s Date with Jade.”

At a pivotal point in Jade’s life, Nathan spoke truth over her in a life-changing way. Recognizing the opportunity he had, he expressed his love, affirmation, encouragement, and hope for her future. Nathan both told and showed Jade how much he loved her and was proud of her.

Her presented Jade with a wonderful reminder of the love of both of her parents. Nathan promised their lifelong support and discipleship of Jade as a godly woman while at the same time calling her to stand for God, honoring herself and her future husband.

Parenting roles change as children mature, as this clip illustrates well. For their own safety, toddlers benefit more by a loving authority figure than they do a loving counselor- more appropriate when your children are about to leave the nest, like Jade.

No matter the age or life stage, your children will always need your love, encouragement, and affirmation. Let them know it, hear it, and see it.

So what does winning the hearts of your children look like?  Your children know that you love them and have their best interests in mind; you affirm them for who they are as unique individuals; and they trust and allow you to speak value and success into their lives.

When we do all these things, we are encouraging in both word and in deed.

Personal Growth

Commit to memory:

Proverbs 23:26 – “My son, give me your heart, and let your eyes observe my ways.”

READING:

Men:        “Resolve to Bless Your Children” (pp. 101-113)

                  Invest in some heart-to-heart time with each child this week. 

Women:   “It Only Works When I Breathe” (pp. 105-110)

                          “Loving My Children” (pp. 205-226)