Serving and Protecting

“The Resolution”

Session 5 – Serving and Protecting

Q:  To what lengths would you go to protect your loved ones from an intruder?

In Feb 2006, a 41yr old mom by the name of Lydia Angyiou from Canada, caught sight of an 8 ft, 700 pound polar bear making its way toward her 7 yr old son. She rushed the polar bear and began to punch and kick until her children were safe and a neighbor came out with a rifle to finish the job. A witness described Lydia as “about 5 ft nothing and 90 pounds on a wet day.” She suffered only minor injuries while protecting her children and they rarely rebel against her parenting anymore!

Hopefully, you wouldn’t stop at any cost to protect your love ones. Yet, there is an enemy even more cunning and diabolical than nay burglar, and he is coming for your loved ones. What are you willing to do to protect your family and provide them what they need?

Are you willing to rise to God’s standard of serving and protecting your family?

The apostle Paul gave instructions to the church, he included instructions concerning families. You might be surprised at what he had to say.

Read 1 Timothy 5:8

^“8 But those who won’t care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers.”

Q: What are the implications of this verse for us?

Insert Clip 7 “Javy’s Provision”

Q: Based on his actions, what do we know about Javy as a father?

Philippians 2:3-4 says “³ Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. ⁴ Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.”

Javy wanted and needed a job; he had a natural desire and motivation to take care of his family and meet their needs. This faithful father accepted the responsibility God had entrusted to him, knowing god would lead him every step of the way.

Not only are fathers called to provide, they are also called to protect. While financial security is important, fathers protect their families in other ways.

The Israelites were exiled from their land, Nehemiah sought God’s help through prayer and fasting and regrouped the people to come back and rebuild the wall. While rebuilding, the people faced physical and verbal persecution form those who would halt God’s work. Watching his countrymen lose heart before his eyes, Nehemiah made a drastic move to ensure the completion of the wall.

Read Nehemiah 4:10-15

¹⁰ Then the people of Judah began to complain, “The workers are getting tired, and there is so much rubble to be moved. We will never be able to build the wall by ourselves.”

¹¹ Meanwhile, our enemies were saying, “Before they know what’s happening, we will swoop down on them and kill them and end their work.”
¹² The Jews who lived near the enemy came and told us again and again, “They will come from all directions and attack us!” ¹³ So I placed armed guards behind the lowest parts of the wall in the exposed areas. I stationed the people to stand guard by families, armed with swords, spears, and bows.
¹⁴ Then as I looked over the situation, I called together the nobles and the rest of the people and said to them, “Don’t be afraid of the enemy! Remember the Lord, who is great and glorious, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your homes!”
¹⁵ When our enemies heard that we knew of their plans and that God had frustrated them, we all returned to our work on the wall.
 

Q: What did Nehemiah do to ensure that the wall would be completed?

Nehemiah reminded the people of two things:
1- the greatness of their God and
2- the reason they were fighting- for their families (vs 14)

By stationing men by their families in exposed areas of the wall, the veracity of their fight was completely parallel to their love for their families. If there ever was a time to fight, it was then; their families’ lives depended on it. And your family’s lives depend on such a stand today as well.

Q: Where are some exposed areas in the walls of homes today?

Insert Clip 8- “Nathan Protects His Home.”

Q: From what things was Nathan trying to protect his daughter?

The Resolution for Men lays out six powerful influencers we must monitor and guard in our children’s lives. Each of them can greatly impact their thinking and decisions.

1. Their friends
2. Their education
3. Their music
4. Their movies/TV shows
5. The internet
6. Video games

Q: Are you allowing anything in your home or family that could destroy the purity, conscience, or mind of your spouse or children?

Priscilla Shirer states, “Instead of being repulsed by certain behaviors and grieved at the lies being foisted on our generation, we find ourselves more accepting of them, willing to watch and laugh, considering them suitable viewing with a side of popcorn” Pg 148 in Resolution for Women

We should teach our children to ask, “Is this honoring to God?” “Is this true, holy, and healthy?” “Will this help me to do the right things?” “Will this make me love God more?” “Will this fuel my passion for Christ, or will it pour cold water on it?” Romans 12:21 urges “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

Read Psalm 23.

¹ The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need.

² He lets me rest in green meadows;
he leads me beside peaceful streams.
³ He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
bringing honor to his name.
⁴ Even when I walk through the darkest valley,
I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.
⁵ You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies.
You honor me by anointing my head with oil.
My cup overflows with blessings.
⁶ Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me
all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord
forever.

Q: How does the shepherd protect and provide for his sheep?

God fathers us like a shepherd. He cares for His flock, and He knows us personally. He makes us lie down when we are weary and He provides His presence as our protection.

John 10:11

¹¹ “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd sacrifices his life for the sheep.

Jesus described Himself was a Good Shepherd. He knows us and we know Him. No enemy has a chance to get to us since He will lay down His very life to protect and care for us.

Personal Growth

Commit to memory
Nehemiah 4:14 – “Don’t be afraid of them. Remember the great and awe-inspiring Lord, and fight for your countrymen, your sons and daughters, your wives and homes.”

READING:

Men:         “Resolve to Demonstrate Love” (pp. 145-155)

                  “Resolve to Provide for Your Family (pp. 157-167) 

Women:    “Authentically Me” (pp. 49- 65)

                  “My Blessing” (pp. 111- 126)

Walking in Integrity

“The Resolution”

Session 4 – Walking In Integrity

We all have that one yearbook photo we wish had never been taken. Most of us are thankful that Facebook wasn’t around when we were growing up!

Q: What is your most embarrassing, humorous, or regrettable fashion phase, hairdo, or hobby?

We can each think back to a moment we wish we had done something differently. We each regret a phase, a date, or an activity that is forever linked to our past. We need to remember that our families are watching us, our children especially and they notice everything we do. We must be people with integrity. Our families do not need us to say one thing and do another. If we expect our children to learn godliness when they see inconsistency in the home, we are kidding ourselves. We cannot drop our kids off at church and bring them home to a pathetic example of Christianity. We must walk with integrity and start that walk in the home.

Jesus taught crowds of people. He knew that some where hearing His words, but not applying it.

Read Luke 6:46-49

⁴⁶ “So why do you keep calling me ‘Lord, Lord!’ when you don’t do what I say? ⁴⁷ I will show you what it’s like when someone comes to me, listens to my teaching, and then follows it. ⁴⁸ It is like a person building a house who digs deep and lays the foundation on solid rock. When the floodwaters rise and break against that house, it stands firm because it is well built. ⁴⁹ But anyone who hears and doesn’t obey is like a person who builds a house without a foundation. When the floods sweep down against that house, it will collapse into a heap of ruins.”

Q: What do these two houses have in common? What differs?

Storms raged against both houses. One man dug deep, building his home on a foundation of a rock, and the fierce waters never did shake it.. In contrast, the other house was built on ground, without any foundation at all;when the torrents came, the building collapsed immediately. Not only did it collapse but it’s destruction was great.

Both builders had heard the Word of God, but only the one that obeyed it survived and flourished.

Insert Clip 6 “The Two Tests”

Q: In this clip, who passed the test and who failed? Why?

What surprised you?

Javier and Shane encountered similar tests- of integrity. Knowing what is right and actually doing it is the essence of integrity. We often use the word character to describe a person whose actions are consistent with the attitudes and motives of the heart. What he builds his life on is expressed in how he acts. There is no hypocrisy.

Javier and Shane chose different paths because of the foundation and priorities of their lives, and they ended up in vastly different places.

Integrity is the opposite of hypocrisy. It means being honest all the time and speaking the truth in your heart. It means being the same person in the secret as you are in public. When your life matches your words, and the standards you set for others are those you unashamedly live by as well- that’s integrity. People of integrity treat others with kindness, just as they want to be treated. They cannot be bought or bribed.

Read Matthew 23:1-14, 23-26

23 Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples, ² “The teachers of religious law and the Pharisees are the official interpreters of the law of Moses. ³ So practice and obey whatever they tell you, but don’t follow their example. For they don’t practice what they teach. ⁴ They crush people with unbearable religious demands and never lift a finger to ease the burden.

⁵ “Everything they do is for show. On their arms they wear extra wide prayer boxes with Scripture verses inside, and they wear robes with extra long tassels. ⁶ And they love to sit at the head table at banquets and in the seats of honor in the synagogues. ⁷ They love to receive respectful greetings as they walk in the marketplaces, and to be called ‘Rabbi.’

⁸ “Don’t let anyone call you ‘Rabbi,’ for you have only one teacher, and all of you are equal as brothers and sisters. ⁹ And don’t address anyone here on earth as ‘Father,’ for only God in heaven is your spiritual Father. ¹⁰ And don’t let anyone call you ‘Teacher,’ for you have only one teacher, the Messiah. ¹¹ The greatest among you must be a servant. ¹² But those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.

¹³ “What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you shut the door of the Kingdom of Heaven in people’s faces. You won’t go in yourselves, and you don’t let others enter either.

What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are careful to tithe even the tiniest income from your herb gardens, but you ignore the more important aspects of the law—justice, mercy, and faith. You should tithe, yes, but do not neglect the more important things. ²⁴ Blind guides! You strain your water so you won’t accidentally swallow a gnat, but you swallow a camel!

²⁵ “What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy—full of greed and self-indulgence! ²⁶ You blind Pharisee! First wash the inside of the cup and the dish, and then the outside will become clean, too

Q: What did Jesus say that hypocrites need to do? (vs. 26)

To be clean both inside and out is the reason we should search our lives and hearts and ask God to cleanse us from any lack of integrity. Then we should begin to take steps to eliminate all hypocrisy from our lives. Hypocritical Christians turn people away from God while Christians of true integrity draw people to Him.

Let’s look at Psalm 15 and see what attitudes and actions represent a life of true integrity.

Psalm 15

¹ Who may worship in your sanctuary, Lord?
Who may enter your presence on your holy hill?
² Those who lead blameless lives and do what is right,
speaking the truth from sincere hearts.
³ Those who refuse to gossip
or harm their neighbors
or speak evil of their friends.
⁴ Those who despise flagrant sinners,
and honor the faithful followers of the Lord,
and keep their promises even when it hurts.
⁵ Those who lend money without charging interest,
and who cannot be bribed to lie about the innocent.
Such people will stand firm forever.

Q: What does “The Two Tests” movie clip show you about being a role model for your children?

We all want the children in our lives to be happy. No one really wants a screaming toddler or a defiant teenager, but do you know what will make your children really happy?

Read Proverbs 20:7-10

“The one who lives with integrity is righteous; His children who come after him will be happy. A king sitting on a throne to judge sifts out all evil with his eyes. Who can say, ‘I have kept my heart pure; I am cleansed from my sin?’ Differing weights and varying measures- both are detestable to the Lord.”

Q: According to this passage if a person lives with integrity, his children will be blessed or happy. Specifically, why do you think this would cause a child to experience joy?

According to verse 10, God hates “differing weights and varying measures.” In ancient times, merchants priced goods based on the good’s weight. Deceitful merchants would modify the actual weight of judgment so that the buyer would have to pay more than what the product was worth.

Q: How do the varying standards in verse 10 relate to standards parents set for themselves or for their children? Try to be specific.

To live with integrity, we must humble ourselves, admit we don’t have it all together, and ask God to give us wisdom each day to make the best decisions possible. When we do, He promises He will pour it on us “generously” and not make us feel foolish for asking.

James 1:5- (TNIV)

⁵ If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

Whether we are fighting off an unhealthy habit or seeking direction concerning finances, we should not be afraid to ask for help from other trusted people. Everyone needs answers and clarity. And victory comes to those with many advisors.

Proverbs 24:3-4

³ By wisdom a house is built,
and through understanding it is established;
⁴ through knowledge its rooms are filled
with rare and beautiful treasures.

Personal Growth

Commit to memory:

Luke 6:46 “Why do you call Me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and don’t’ do the things that I say?”

READING:

Men:         “Resolve to Love Your Wife” (pp. 87-99)

                  “Resolve to Fight for Justice” (pp. 131--143) 

Women:    “My Integrity” (pp. 145-162)

Redeeming Your History

“The Resolution”

Session 3 – Redeeming Your History

Q: What are the normal packing procedures for your family vacation? Who does what? How does packing cause silly tension in your home? Has someone ever packed so much for a trip that the baggage became a hindrance?

Like over packing for a trip, sometimes the weight of past mistakes or failures can become a hindrance and slow us down in our progression towards being all God has called us to be. We all have regrettable moments in our past- some we have caused and others that have happened to us. We cannot over look them any longer.

Q: If you could go back and change one thing in your past (something you have done or something done to you), what would you change?

Strong relationships don’t happen because people never hurt each other. They happen because the people involved keep on forgiving, empowered by the love only God can give.

Last week we focused on receiving the forgiveness of Jesus for salvation and following Him with our lives. Appropriately, now we concentrate on how His forgiveness changes us. We will be going to the back of the car to do a very difficult but very courageous thing: unpack the baggage that is slowing us down.

We are going to look at our responsibility when:

1 - There needs to be forgiveness to those who have hurt us and
2 - Requesting forgiveness from those that have hurts us.

In order to move forward, we must redeem our history. Only the courageous will proceed.

Think for a few minutes about what it means to offer forgiveness.

Read Matthew 18:21-35

Parable of the Unforgiving Debtor

²¹ Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?”
²² “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven.
²³ “Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. ²⁴ In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. ²⁵ He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the debt.
²⁶ “But the man fell down before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ ²⁷ Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt.
²⁸ “But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment.
²⁹ “His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded. ³⁰ But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full.
³¹ “When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him everything that had happened. ³² Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. ³³ Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ ³⁴ Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt.
³⁵ “That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.”

Q:  What parts of this parable remind you of times people have hurt you?

Video Clip – “Nathan at the Grave” / Coming Soon

Q:  Based on what you heard in this scene, what justifiable reasons did Nathan have to hate his father?

Q: How do you think Nathan’s unwillingness to forgive his father might impact other relationships?

Q: Has your father (or another family member) ever hurt you in such a way as to leave a huge “unpaid debt” on your life? Just acknowledging this hurt privately can be important.

Too many people have been deeply wounded or abandoned by their fathers. In fact, more than 24 million American children- about one of every three- live without the presence of their biological fathers.

Most of us have legitimate reasons to not want to forgive people who have hurt us. Whether our fathers were good dads or bad, we all have likely been wronged or hurt by them at some point. Jesus teaches that these wrongs must be forgiven.

Q: What reason did Nathan give in this clip for finally being able to forgive his father?

We cannot forget how much God has forgiven us- the equivalent of an impossible-to-pay back $6 million debt. The cross changed everything. Christ has every reason not to forgive us; yet, He offers freely the forgiveness that cost Him so much. His forgiveness changes how we act, fell, and think. Just as we have been forgiven so much, we must also forgive others. We are to forgive without keeping count.

“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”

Colossians 3:13 (NLT)

“No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!”

Matthew 18:22 (NLT)

Read Romans 12:17-21

¹⁷ Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. ¹⁸ Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.
¹⁹ Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say,
“I will take revenge;
I will pay them back,”
says the Lord.
²⁰ Instead,
“If your enemies are hungry, feed them.
If they are thirsty, give them something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap
burning coals of shame on their heads.”
²¹ Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.

Intentionally seeking peace and not allowing anger and hurt to build frees us to forgive others, release the baggage of past hurts, and move into the future. It refreshes us spiritually, physically, and emotionally. You can break the patterns of past hurt and behavior even if no one else does. Do it for your children.

Is there anyone who has wounded you whom you have not fully forgiven? Is God the Judge or are you? Isn’t it time to turn all your hurts over to Him, the only righteous and perfect Judge?

In addition to forgiving those in your past for the mistakes they have made, it is equally vital to request forgiveness from others for the mistakes you have made. Both actions require courage.

“For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death.”

2 Corinthians 7:10 (NLT)

In these verses, we see there are 2 different types of grief: godly grief and worldly grief.

Godly Grief vs. Worldly Grief

 

Worldly grief is what we feel when we are sorry we got caught and grieve over the consequences we face.

Godly grief is when we are sorry we transgressed against holy God and hurt Him and others.

Just feeling bad about past mistakes isn’t enough. It doesn’t accomplish anything; it just merely exposes sin and urges us to take action.

If you have the kind of remorse that characterizes godly grief, you will want to repent (turn around), confess to others how you wronged them, and take responsibility for your mistakes. Although Jesus has paid our spiritual debts before God in heaven, we are called to take responsibility for reconciling with those we wrong on earth. We cannot go back and undo the past, but we can do our best now to bring healing and restoration. Then, and only then, can we move forward. Remorse that leads to repentance can bring about new patterns of living for your entire family.

Video clip – “David’s Letter” / Coming Soon

This clip shows us that David started where he was. He knew he needed to take responsibility for his past mistakes. There were many outcomes that could have happened as a result of his letter, but David faced his fears to do what was right. God’s grace gives us the strength and the desire to go back and make things right with others. A desire to make amends grew out David’s own gratitude for God’s forgiveness. The Holy Spirit and supportive friends helped him start the process of reconciliation. His actions were helping Amanda and Olivia get off the road of pain and loss and onto a path of peace and restoration.

God calls each of us to lay down our pride, face our fears, and take responsibility for our past. We too have the Holy Spirit and other believers to support us in this courageous journey.

Personal Growth This Week:

Romans 12:18 – “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.”  NASB

READING:

Men:         “Resolve to Reconcile with Your Past” (pp. 169- 81)

                  “Resolve to Live with Integrity” (pp. 183-95)

Women:    “Overflowing Blessing” (pp. 23-27)

                        “My Forgiveness” (pp. 127-43))

How To Abide

How would you feel if your child or grand child never came and asked you to hold them? What if they never climbed in your lap for even a story? It is a precious time when they come, carrying their blanket or favorite stuffed animal, and climb in your lap for a few moments.

I truly believe that is exactly how our Heavenly Father views us. He wants us to come and crawl up in His lap for a few moments each day. He wants us to ABIDE in Him. Our children and grandchildren are comforted when they come and spend some one on one time with us; so it is for us in the Father's lap. We can find comfort for the storms in our lives. We can find peace in His presence. But.... we have to go to Him. He isn't going to make us come sit with Him.

And what if the only time our children came to us was when they needed something? How would that make you feel as a parent/grandparent? Be honest. I want my kids to want to know me and I want to know them. Again, this is just like our Heavenly Father. In order to get to know our Heavenly Father, we must read the letter He gave us. We must spend time listening, reading, and studying the things He left for us.

We live in a military community. We have stood by, helped, and encouraged many military families during deployments. I really have no idea what it is like to have my husband be away for more than 8 weeks, but there are many great friends that do know what that is like. I was thinking about the love that these couples share and how important every piece of mail is to them, as they try to keep the relationship at it's best during separation. For those that know what it's like to be away from the love of your life for long periods of time, how do you treat the letters that come from them? the emails? Every line, every word is meaningful to you and sometimes, when you miss them you reread the letter to help you pass the time and maybe make the separation easier.

The Bible is our love letter. It is a love letter from a Heavenly Father that loves us so much. These words are not just words by meer men, as some may say. These words are His words, words to guide us, teach us, lead us into knowing Him more and more. The definition of the word abide means to remain; continue; stay. Or to continue in a particular condition, attitude, relationship, etc. If we want to keep our relationship at it's best (continue), we must read and learn more and more about this Heavenly Father, Creator of everything.

I wish I had a magic formula to help you abide. I don't. I think the best any of us can do is just to make the time to spend with the Lord. What happens during that time is up to you and the Lord. How long you read/study the letter He left to you is up to you. Give yourself a goal and then ask a fellow Christ follower to hold you accountable for making that goal. You must write it down. I want you to write on a piece of paper if you need to, I write in my Bible tons. Go to John 15:4-5 and write in the margin of your page there what your goal is and the date. Then call someone and tell them what the goal is. You may need to write what you are going to do to make the time. My personal goal is that I will not check my fb or emails til I have had my time with the Lord. At one time in my life, I had to get up at 5am to have some peace and quiet with the Lord. I even spent my time by a lighted lantern so I wouldn't accidentally wake babies up with the light!! See what I mean?? What are you willing to do to make time?? Think about it....

Written in love,
Theresa