Redeeming Your History

“The Resolution”

Session 3 – Redeeming Your History

Q: What are the normal packing procedures for your family vacation? Who does what? How does packing cause silly tension in your home? Has someone ever packed so much for a trip that the baggage became a hindrance?

Like over packing for a trip, sometimes the weight of past mistakes or failures can become a hindrance and slow us down in our progression towards being all God has called us to be. We all have regrettable moments in our past- some we have caused and others that have happened to us. We cannot over look them any longer.

Q: If you could go back and change one thing in your past (something you have done or something done to you), what would you change?

Strong relationships don’t happen because people never hurt each other. They happen because the people involved keep on forgiving, empowered by the love only God can give.

Last week we focused on receiving the forgiveness of Jesus for salvation and following Him with our lives. Appropriately, now we concentrate on how His forgiveness changes us. We will be going to the back of the car to do a very difficult but very courageous thing: unpack the baggage that is slowing us down.

We are going to look at our responsibility when:

1 - There needs to be forgiveness to those who have hurt us and
2 - Requesting forgiveness from those that have hurts us.

In order to move forward, we must redeem our history. Only the courageous will proceed.

Think for a few minutes about what it means to offer forgiveness.

Read Matthew 18:21-35

Parable of the Unforgiving Debtor

²¹ Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?”
²² “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven.
²³ “Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. ²⁴ In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. ²⁵ He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the debt.
²⁶ “But the man fell down before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ ²⁷ Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt.
²⁸ “But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment.
²⁹ “His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded. ³⁰ But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full.
³¹ “When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him everything that had happened. ³² Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. ³³ Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ ³⁴ Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt.
³⁵ “That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.”

Q:  What parts of this parable remind you of times people have hurt you?

Video Clip – “Nathan at the Grave” / Coming Soon

Q:  Based on what you heard in this scene, what justifiable reasons did Nathan have to hate his father?

Q: How do you think Nathan’s unwillingness to forgive his father might impact other relationships?

Q: Has your father (or another family member) ever hurt you in such a way as to leave a huge “unpaid debt” on your life? Just acknowledging this hurt privately can be important.

Too many people have been deeply wounded or abandoned by their fathers. In fact, more than 24 million American children- about one of every three- live without the presence of their biological fathers.

Most of us have legitimate reasons to not want to forgive people who have hurt us. Whether our fathers were good dads or bad, we all have likely been wronged or hurt by them at some point. Jesus teaches that these wrongs must be forgiven.

Q: What reason did Nathan give in this clip for finally being able to forgive his father?

We cannot forget how much God has forgiven us- the equivalent of an impossible-to-pay back $6 million debt. The cross changed everything. Christ has every reason not to forgive us; yet, He offers freely the forgiveness that cost Him so much. His forgiveness changes how we act, fell, and think. Just as we have been forgiven so much, we must also forgive others. We are to forgive without keeping count.

“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”

Colossians 3:13 (NLT)

“No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!”

Matthew 18:22 (NLT)

Read Romans 12:17-21

¹⁷ Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. ¹⁸ Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.
¹⁹ Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say,
“I will take revenge;
I will pay them back,”
says the Lord.
²⁰ Instead,
“If your enemies are hungry, feed them.
If they are thirsty, give them something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap
burning coals of shame on their heads.”
²¹ Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.

Intentionally seeking peace and not allowing anger and hurt to build frees us to forgive others, release the baggage of past hurts, and move into the future. It refreshes us spiritually, physically, and emotionally. You can break the patterns of past hurt and behavior even if no one else does. Do it for your children.

Is there anyone who has wounded you whom you have not fully forgiven? Is God the Judge or are you? Isn’t it time to turn all your hurts over to Him, the only righteous and perfect Judge?

In addition to forgiving those in your past for the mistakes they have made, it is equally vital to request forgiveness from others for the mistakes you have made. Both actions require courage.

“For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death.”

2 Corinthians 7:10 (NLT)

In these verses, we see there are 2 different types of grief: godly grief and worldly grief.

Godly Grief vs. Worldly Grief

 

Worldly grief is what we feel when we are sorry we got caught and grieve over the consequences we face.

Godly grief is when we are sorry we transgressed against holy God and hurt Him and others.

Just feeling bad about past mistakes isn’t enough. It doesn’t accomplish anything; it just merely exposes sin and urges us to take action.

If you have the kind of remorse that characterizes godly grief, you will want to repent (turn around), confess to others how you wronged them, and take responsibility for your mistakes. Although Jesus has paid our spiritual debts before God in heaven, we are called to take responsibility for reconciling with those we wrong on earth. We cannot go back and undo the past, but we can do our best now to bring healing and restoration. Then, and only then, can we move forward. Remorse that leads to repentance can bring about new patterns of living for your entire family.

Video clip – “David’s Letter” / Coming Soon

This clip shows us that David started where he was. He knew he needed to take responsibility for his past mistakes. There were many outcomes that could have happened as a result of his letter, but David faced his fears to do what was right. God’s grace gives us the strength and the desire to go back and make things right with others. A desire to make amends grew out David’s own gratitude for God’s forgiveness. The Holy Spirit and supportive friends helped him start the process of reconciliation. His actions were helping Amanda and Olivia get off the road of pain and loss and onto a path of peace and restoration.

God calls each of us to lay down our pride, face our fears, and take responsibility for our past. We too have the Holy Spirit and other believers to support us in this courageous journey.

Personal Growth This Week:

Romans 12:18 – “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.”  NASB

READING:

Men:         “Resolve to Reconcile with Your Past” (pp. 169- 81)

                  “Resolve to Live with Integrity” (pp. 183-95)

Women:    “Overflowing Blessing” (pp. 23-27)

                        “My Forgiveness” (pp. 127-43))