“The Resolution”
Session 3 – Redeeming Your History
Q: What are the normal packing procedures for your
family vacation? Who does what? How does packing cause silly tension in your
home? Has someone ever packed so much for a trip that the baggage became a
hindrance?
Like over
packing for a trip, sometimes the weight of past mistakes or failures can
become a hindrance and slow us down in our progression towards being all God
has called us to be. We all have regrettable moments in our past- some we have
caused and others that have happened to us. We cannot over look them any
longer.
Q: If you could go back and change one thing in your
past (something you have done or something done to you), what would you change?
Strong relationships don’t happen because people never hurt each other.
They happen because the people involved keep on forgiving, empowered by the
love only God can give.
Last week we focused on receiving the forgiveness of Jesus for
salvation and following Him with our lives. Appropriately, now we concentrate
on how His forgiveness changes us. We will be going to the back of the car to
do a very difficult but very courageous thing: unpack the baggage that is
slowing us down.
We are going to look at our responsibility when:
1 - There needs to be forgiveness to those who have hurt us and2 - Requesting forgiveness from those that have hurts us.
In order to move forward, we must redeem our
history. Only the courageous will proceed.
Think for a
few minutes about what it means to offer forgiveness.
Read Matthew 18:21-35
Parable of the
Unforgiving Debtor
21 Then
Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins
against me? Seven times?”22 “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven.
23 “Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. 24 In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. 25 He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the debt.
26 “But the man fell down before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ 27 Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt.
28 “But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment.
29 “His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded. 30 But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full.
31 “When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him everything that had happened. 32 Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. 33 Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ 34 Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt.
35 “That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.”
Q: What parts
of this parable remind you of times people have hurt you?
Video
Clip – “Nathan at the Grave” / Coming
Soon
Q: Based on
what you heard in this scene, what justifiable reasons did Nathan have to hate
his father?
Q: How do you think Nathan’s unwillingness to
forgive his father might impact other relationships?
Q: Has your father (or another family member) ever
hurt you in such a way as to leave a huge “unpaid debt” on your life? Just
acknowledging this hurt privately can be important.
Too many
people have been deeply wounded or abandoned by their fathers. In fact, more
than 24 million American children- about one of every three- live without the presence of their biological
fathers.
Most of us
have legitimate reasons to not want to forgive people who have hurt us. Whether
our fathers were good dads or bad, we all have likely been wronged or hurt by
them at some point. Jesus teaches that these wrongs must be forgiven.
Q: What reason did Nathan give in this clip for
finally being able to forgive his father?
We cannot
forget how much God has forgiven us- the equivalent of an impossible-to-pay
back $6 million debt. The cross changed everything. Christ has every reason not
to forgive us; yet, He offers freely the forgiveness that cost Him so much. His
forgiveness changes how we act, fell, and think. Just as we have been forgiven
so much, we must also forgive others. We are to forgive without keeping count.
“Make
allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you.
Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”
Colossians
3:13 (NLT)
“No, not seven times,” Jesus
replied, “but seventy times seven!”
Matthew 18:22 (NLT)
Read Romans 12:17-21
17 Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things
in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. 18
Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.19 Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say,
“I will take revenge;
I will pay them back,”
says the Lord.
20 Instead,
“If your enemies are hungry, feed them.
If they are thirsty, give them something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap
burning coals of shame on their heads.”
21 Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.
Intentionally
seeking peace and not allowing anger and hurt to build frees us to forgive
others, release the baggage of past hurts, and move into the future. It
refreshes us spiritually, physically, and emotionally. You can break the
patterns of past hurt and behavior even if no one else does. Do it for your
children.
Is there
anyone who has wounded you whom you have not fully forgiven? Is God the Judge
or are you? Isn’t it time to turn all your hurts over to Him, the only
righteous and perfect Judge?
In addition to
forgiving those in your past for the mistakes they have made, it is equally
vital to request forgiveness from others for the mistakes you have made. Both
actions require courage.
“For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience
leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that
kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in
spiritual death.”
2 Corinthians 7:10 (NLT)
In these
verses, we see there are 2 different types of grief: godly grief and worldly
grief.
Godly Grief vs. Worldly
Grief
Worldly grief is what we feel when we are sorry we
got caught and grieve over the consequences we face.
Godly grief is when we are sorry we transgressed
against holy God and hurt Him and others.
Just feeling
bad about past mistakes isn’t enough. It doesn’t accomplish anything; it just
merely exposes sin and urges us to take action.
If you have
the kind of remorse that characterizes godly grief, you will want to repent
(turn around), confess to others how you wronged them, and take responsibility
for your mistakes. Although Jesus has paid our spiritual debts before God in
heaven, we are called to take responsibility for reconciling with those we
wrong on earth. We cannot go back and undo the past, but we can do our best now
to bring healing and restoration. Then, and only then, can we move forward.
Remorse that leads to repentance can bring about new patterns of living for
your entire family.
Video clip – “David’s Letter” / Coming Soon
This clip
shows us that David started where he was. He knew he needed to take
responsibility for his past mistakes. There were many outcomes that could have
happened as a result of his letter, but David faced his fears to do what was
right. God’s grace gives us the strength and the desire to go back and make
things right with others. A desire to make amends grew out David’s own
gratitude for God’s forgiveness. The Holy Spirit and supportive friends helped
him start the process of reconciliation. His actions were helping Amanda and
Olivia get off the road of pain and loss and onto a path of peace and
restoration.
God calls each
of us to lay down our pride, face our fears, and take responsibility for our
past. We too have the Holy Spirit and other believers to support us in this
courageous journey.
Personal Growth This Week:
Romans 12:18 –
“If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.” NASB
READING:
Men: “Resolve to Reconcile with Your Past”
(pp. 169- 81)
“Resolve to Live with Integrity” (pp. 183-95)
Women: “Overflowing Blessing” (pp. 23-27)
“My Forgiveness” (pp.
127-43))
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